Why I (didn't) serve a mission

I've been meaning to address this for a long time coming. I feel the need to talk about the mission.

After the big missionary announcement came out in Oct. 2012, there was a HUGE buzz going around and suddenly everyone (including ALL of my friends) were packing their bags and heading out to preach the word. How exciting! Everyone would ask me, "So when are you putting your papers in?" and it REALLY got me thinking :)

When I heard sweet President Monson's words, I earnestly waited for the feeling and urge to come that I personally needed to serve a mission. I wanted that revelation and pressing feeling so badly! Growing up I always had that desire in my heart to be a sister missionary and now was the time to make it happen...............right?

I waited and waited for that "burning feeling" to come, but unfortunately it never did. In fact, when I prayed about the mission, the impression of "wait" or "not in this way" continually came to my mind. When reading my scriptures, missionary work stood out, but the feelings that came to my heart were non-traditional.

I was frustrated. I thought "am I not good enough?" or "maybe I just need to go and I'll get my confirmation when I'm in the field"

I very well could have gone ahead and served anyway and I'm sure the Lord would have been pleased with my efforts. However, after years of continual prayer and dedicated service to my Heavenly Father, I've reached many conclusions and simple answers have come to me on this topic that have put my mind at ease.

I think it's safe to say that...

I had a mission, but it was not the traditional full-time service.

Elder Andersen said it right when he said, "If you're not a full-time missionary with a missionary badge pinned on your coat, now is the time to paint one on your heart" and those words spoke to me and I applied it like I never applied anything before.

I began going out with the sister missionaries every week, I sought opportunities to share the Gospel on social media or with friends/coworkers, and I became a cheerleader and avid supporter to the missionaries whom I love so dearly. I've had experiences that have changed my life and I was present in opportunities where I felt I was needed and valued.

I can honestly and comfortably say that I felt pressure to serve a mission but I didn't feel that a full-time service was right for me. The Lord has a plan. He sure will put you to work if you put Him first but His ways are greater than ours. Seek to align your personal will with His and your life will improve. You'll see yourself in situations and experiences you never would have thought possible.

Simply put, do good.

-Alli